sitting in a tree
Sep. 3rd, 2024 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
purplekaleone thing about crushes is that they make me actually insane like i hate how I'm checking social media all the time to see what they posted and if they looked at my story and if i have the nerve enough to respond to something or do anything.
on thing that frustrates me about this one individual in particular is that i feel like i really kinda like this person but they are so awkward and they will seem to be wanting to talk to me but it only lasts like 30 seconds and then they move on like they wanna be seen and perceived by me and want validation from me for something but then as soon as i start giving them attention or whatever they seem uninterested like what is up with that its getting on my nerves so much that i feel like i don't want to even like them or get to know them anymore because i just want to be their friend but it seems like every time i try that they lose interest quick or something i have no idea to be honest.
I'm tired of it i wish people could just be straight forward with everything i don't want to play any games or anything i just want full blunt honesty and open books plz if someone is tryna play mind games with me and some stupid cat and mouse game or whatever that is not gonna fly with me.
it makes me sad though because i like this person even though they are so awkward and goofy and silly i see that they are a good person inside and we have similar interests and i just want to get closer to them but how am i supposed to do that when they wont even have a real conversation with me.
i also have insecurities that they just never liked me like that in the first place or that they still aren't over the last person that they liked and are just using me or something i have no idea but these crazy thoughts are getting out of control and like i said in my last entry post i really don't have the time or energy right now to be worrying and pondering over all of these things i just want yes to be yes and no to be no that's all. and being confused by everything is just so frustrating I'm going to keep praying about it but that's all i can do and who knows what's going to happen now that I'm not even really allowed to leave the house or anything because i screwed myself over by getting into an accident by being stupid and i just feel like I'm so over everything i wanna run away forever but also i cant but also just maybe i wanna turn into a speck of dust and just vanish but also i really just want to be loved......
on thing that frustrates me about this one individual in particular is that i feel like i really kinda like this person but they are so awkward and they will seem to be wanting to talk to me but it only lasts like 30 seconds and then they move on like they wanna be seen and perceived by me and want validation from me for something but then as soon as i start giving them attention or whatever they seem uninterested like what is up with that its getting on my nerves so much that i feel like i don't want to even like them or get to know them anymore because i just want to be their friend but it seems like every time i try that they lose interest quick or something i have no idea to be honest.
I'm tired of it i wish people could just be straight forward with everything i don't want to play any games or anything i just want full blunt honesty and open books plz if someone is tryna play mind games with me and some stupid cat and mouse game or whatever that is not gonna fly with me.
it makes me sad though because i like this person even though they are so awkward and goofy and silly i see that they are a good person inside and we have similar interests and i just want to get closer to them but how am i supposed to do that when they wont even have a real conversation with me.
i also have insecurities that they just never liked me like that in the first place or that they still aren't over the last person that they liked and are just using me or something i have no idea but these crazy thoughts are getting out of control and like i said in my last entry post i really don't have the time or energy right now to be worrying and pondering over all of these things i just want yes to be yes and no to be no that's all. and being confused by everything is just so frustrating I'm going to keep praying about it but that's all i can do and who knows what's going to happen now that I'm not even really allowed to leave the house or anything because i screwed myself over by getting into an accident by being stupid and i just feel like I'm so over everything i wanna run away forever but also i cant but also just maybe i wanna turn into a speck of dust and just vanish but also i really just want to be loved......
